Should I enter… or better play safe and walk away? For a person in a potentially dangerous situation there is a lot on the line. Entering: one step closer to victory. Not entering: also one step closer to victory. Both decisions might lead to more self control and confidence. Fearless everyday-life is at stake.
Well, [...]
When I decided it was time to move on, some two months ago, I did not know I would be doing another job that soon. Although I am working for a temp agency, I am happy to have moved on. Last week I started on a short term assignment at Vodafone Netherlands. It is my [...]
… to keep yourself busy.
It is utterly frustrating. I am not referring to the title or line above. I am jumping nervously on my chair. Below the line I am writing right now, there are a dozen of other lines. All starters for a text. All of them… weak… both the content and English grammar. [...]
You may have noticed that I have been writing less frequent at this blog. I have lost the… creativity that is necessary to develop the articles. I have attempted to write, looking at a white sheet. No results. I just do not see the point commenting politicians, on whom I do not have any influence. [...]
When I wrote seducing the female I ended the article by saying the following about mating: “exchange your fluids, call it love and claim it will last forever”. I think it is illustrative of the strong contrast when it comes to love. At the beginning when the love is huge, there is an intention to [...]
Yesterday I made another short trip. This time I went to visit my flat mate Jeroen and his girl friend in Brussels. Just like my journey to Paris two weeks ago, it had been quite a while since I visited Brussels. Actually the last time I was on a trip, I went there. Over three years ago. I got to see the new train station in Liege (where I had to change trains). It was being constructed back then.
I was in Paris last Saturday. I went there by car on Friday and came back the next day. It was my first overnight stay (at another place than my own) since October 2004. Three years and two months ago. I must thank my friend Edmond for this great opportunity. In 2004 I spent six weeks in Madrid (and Bordeaux / Barcelona). Came back, went to Madrid again 2,5 weeks later. In October I stayed in Brussels and Luxemburg. And then. The world came down. I was under attack… from me.
I have been trying to write posts over the last two weeks, but every time I got stranded at some point. From past experience I know that my best posts were those that flew out of my fingers. In order to write an article I’d appreciate for its content or style, my mind needs to be (set) free in some way.
My computer is not the only ‘thing’ that broke down. I myself was close to a ‘panic attack’ again. Well, I had one… more or less. It could have been a lot more than less. I am actually not sure if it qualifies as a panic attack. And fact is: I was panicking… I was in agony. It is the life I am living, which apparently scares me. I feel trapped inside of a situation I cannot get out off. And I fear it will go on forever.
It has been a while since I wrote the last time. I actually had prepared a post about me, but could not agree with myself about what to write. So, I deleted that one and started writing on societal dynamics and cycles. I hope to be able to publish this one some time soon.