It is like talking a drug addict out of his problem… rationally the addict knows it is a strange thing to do, but intuitively he likes to have more of it. I think this also holds for mating. Think of any gathering where boys and girls go to meet a partner. There is a lot going on… just to find someone to exchange body fluids with in the end. There goes the romance.

I spent quite some time sitting in buses… the perfect place for observations. I am trying to figure out why I favour one woman over another. I figured that, for me at least, it matters how the face is ‘constructed’. I like fine, but sharp lines. It is especially pleasing to see a woman with a round face and friendly, open eyes. The rest is up to the software.

The female’s software then determines what kind of clothes to wear, how to maintain the body, how to treat the hair and other parts. Software is as important as hardware. Logically. For some reason many women are programmed to put paint on their faces. Can you imagine… painting your face? I have been told that women use this pain to accentuate certain parts of the face. Men are blind?

Guys, can someone explain to me what the fun part is of putting your lips on paint called lipstick? You ever tried eating waxy glue? Ever tried licking hair lubricants? Jezus Christ, ladies what has gotten into you?

I think the female’s software is malfunctioning here. It is overdoing things. I favour women that do not wear paint. I prefer to see the imperfections of nature. They are there to love. And besides, we as men should know about these imperfections: the paint will probably not stay on forever.

Furthermore, women devote quite some effort to keep their bodies clean. I think this is very important, as it is an indication of healthiness. But… putting on perfume is nonsense… it is a cover up for something ugly under it. It gives fake signals. Besides, most women are unable to find a perfume that does not knock you off your feet. It might be an indication of low self esteem. Not attractive.

Clothing is another important factor to judge a woman by. How does she want to keep her body warm and protected? I am probably not being very nice now… but when I see a woman wearing high heels… and with every step she takes, her ankles bend… making her bottom bounce from left to right… I cannot prevent myself from smiling. Why would you do that to yourself?!

Back to the mating. Check breasts, check bottom, check face (choose your own order). Look more, try to find a way to speak to her. Convince her. Be the biggest monkey in town without making the monkey-noises. This is our life. Find ways to be together ‘forever’. Avoid falling in love with other monkeys. Every subculture in a society has its own rules to deal with this. It all boils down to the same: exchange your fluids, call it love and claim it will last forever.